Freeway Traffic Report

Oct 27, 2017
Originally published on April 20, 2018 10:36 am

Brett Gelman and Missi Pyle completed their Ask Me Another trilogy contracts with a quiz in which every answer is also the number of a freeway in the Los Angeles area. Plus, singer-songwriter Aimee Mann also joined us for a performance of "Rollercoasters," a song from her recent album "Mental Illness."

Heard On Los Angeles: Famepocalypse Part One


Missi Pyle On Her Driving Style

I would say I'm somewhat aggressive. You've got to really get in there or someone's gonna get on you getting in there, you know what I'm saying?

Brett Gelman On His Driving Style

I would say I'm aggressive. A tad rageful. Every other driver is usually an enemy.

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Our next game is about traffic. It normally takes about five minutes to play or 90 minutes during rush hour. Let's check in with our celebri-testants. Missi, how would you describe your driving style?

MISSI PYLE: I would say I'm somewhat aggressive.

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

PYLE: I mean, you kind of have to be.


PYLE: I mean, you've got to really get in there or somebody is going to get on you getting in there. You know what I'm saying?


EISENBERG: So do you feel like people are pissed off at you when you're driving?

PYLE: Only when I'm taking the 101, and - but I'm really going over to the 134, but I don't let anyone know until the last second. You guys know what I'm talking about.


EISENBERG: Brett, what is your driving style?

BRETT GELMAN: I would say I'm aggressive, a tad rageful.


GELMAN: Every other driver is usually an enemy.


GELMAN: And then on top of that, I can be very spacey.



JONATHAN COULTON: ...It's a good combination.

PYLE: Wow.

EISENBERG: That's problematic.

GELMAN: ...I'm a pretty great driver, I'd say.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) All right, let's go to your third game. Has someone from Los Angeles ever told you to take the 10 to the 110 to the 101? They are not killer robots speaking in binary code. That's how human Angelenos talk about freeways.

COULTON: In this game, Ophira and I will pretend to be Los Angeles traffic reporters. And you tell us what freeways we are talking about. The twist is we don't actually live in L.A. So the clues are based on whatever we can think of associated with the freeway's number.


EISENBERG: After this game, the contestant with the most points overall will go on to the final round. And the loser will have to stick around after the show and help me workshop this bit I'm working on about the difference between Rodeo Drive and Rodeo Road called Yee-Haw Chanel. All right.


GELMAN: I love it.

PYLE: I don't think it needs any work. I think you're there.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) It's there? OK. The good news is the points in this game are doubled.

PYLE: I still have a chance?

EISENBERG: Yeah, it's anyone's game.

PYLE: Hey.

EISENBERG: It's anyone's game. All right. Here's your first one. There's an adorable pile-up on the longest U.S. route in California. Dozens of Dalmatians are clogging the HOV lane. They've just escaped from Cruella de Vil who wanted to make them into a fur coat.



GELMAN: One hundred and 1 - 101.

EISENBERG: That is correct.


COULTON: Unless you're Moses, good luck parting the Red Sea brings on this freeway to Santa Monica. Waiting in this traffic will make you want to break every commandment Moses was given on Mt. Sinai.



PYLE: The 10.

COULTON: The 10 - that's right.


EISENBERG: This report is from 1970. A hot, new Motown band has brought traffic to a standstill on the Golden State Freeway. Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Michael Jackson are all dancing across the lanes singing "ABC."



PYLE: The 5.

EISENBERG: That is correct.


EISENBERG: This is your last clue. Good news, there is absolutely no traffic on the scenic Pacific Coast Highway, saved for a single car driven by our friend Aimee Mann singing about the loneliest number just like she did in the movie "Magnolia."



PYLE: The 1.


EISENBERG: That is correct.

PYLE: (Singing) You are the one...


PYLE: ...For me - Sorry.

EISENBERG: All right. Puzzle guru Art Chung, it's the end of three games. How did our contestants do?

ART CHUNG: What a great game. Congratulations, Brett. You're moving on to the final round.


EISENBERG: Missi Pyle has a recurring role on "Mom" this season on CBS and appears in "Jumanji 2." Give it up for Missi Pyle.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.