Lightning Fill In The Blank

Oct 10, 2015
Originally published on October 10, 2015 11:17 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, it's time to move on to your final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores.

BILL KURTIS, HOST:

Amy and Paula have two, and P.J. has three.

SAGAL: So all right, we have flipped a coin. Amy's elected to go second. That means, Paula, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the Pentagon admitted fault in an airstrike that hit a Doctor Without Borders hospital in blank.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Syria.

SAGAL: No, Afghanistan.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, shoot.

SAGAL: On Monday, Gov. Jerry Brown signed a law making blank legal in California.

POUNDSTONE: It's, like, a right to death thing.

SAGAL: Yeah, assisted suicide.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Iran's Ayatollah Khamenei said Wednesday that he was banning any further negotiation with blank.

POUNDSTONE: Russia.

SAGAL: No, the U.S. According to the Department of Labor, American blank claims have dropped to a 42-year low.

POUNDSTONE: Unemployment.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, police in Iowa arrested a man for having a blank shoved down his pants.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, jeez.. Oh, I'm going to go - because so often this is right - with lemur.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. You're right, it's a good guess. An entire meth lab, also a bunch of weed. In their first post-season win since 2003, blank defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates 4-0 on Wednesday.

POUNDSTONE: Was it the Cubs?

SAGAL: It was.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Amazon opened Handmade, an online marketplace of handmade items meant to challenge blank.

POUNDSTONE: Etsy.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: New security footage released this week shows that prison guards failed to notice drug lord El Chapo's escape because they were blanking.

POUNDSTONE: On their smartphones - they were tweeting.

SAGAL: You were so close. I almost want to give it to you. They were playing solitaire on their computers.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I knew it was some sort of techno-stupidity.

SAGAL: They had said the drug kingpin had escaped because their surveillance system was malfunctioning, but newly released footage reveals what really happened. Instead of watching El Chapo on their screens, they had up games of solitaire. Even worse, before he left the prison, El Chapo stopped by guards' headquarters and suggested they all try Minesweeper.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She got four right for eight more points. That gives her a total of 10 and the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

POUNDSTONE: It's looking on bad. Very bad.

SAGAL: Amy - Amy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. Three days of heavy rainfall led to massive flooding throughout blank this week.

AMY DICKINSON: South Carolina.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, four Russian missiles bound for Syria crashed in blank.

DICKINSON: In Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Justice Department announced Tuesday it was scheduling early release for 6,000 inmates convicted of blank.

DICKINSON: Drug crimes.

SAGAL: Yes, nonviolent drug crimes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Oregon announced that their first week of recreational blank sales raked in over $11 million dollars.

DICKINSON: Marijuana?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, celebrity chef and commercial spokesman blank passed away at 75.

DICKINSON: Paul Prudhomme.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, FIFA announced it was suspending current president blank.

DICKINSON: What's that guy's name? I don't know. He's the soccer guy.

POUNDSTONE: Think weak...

DICKINSON: Weak.

POUNDSTONE: You know, when you can't control your...

DICKINSON: Bladder?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: She did it. Sepp Blatter is his name.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

DICKINSON: Yay.

SAGAL: Russian police...

O'ROURKE: All right.

SAGAL: Russian police who spotted a man driving with a bear in the back seat of his car said they couldn't arrest him because blank.

O'ROURKE: (Laughter) There was a bear in the back seat of the car.

DICKINSON: Bear in the back - the bear was licensed, of course.

SAGAL: No, close though, but the bear was wearing his seatbelt.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Several motorists called the police when they saw a huge brown bear calmly riding in the back seat of a car. Police told them there was nothing they could do about 'cause the animal was wearing a seatbelt. The driver said he wished people would stop worrying about his hit startup idea, Ubear (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You pull out your phone, you put in your - you just press a button and a bear shows up in the back seat of a car. Bill, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She got six right, 12 more points. That gives her 14 and the lead.

SAGAL: All right then.

DICKINSON: Paula, thank you.

SAGAL: So how many then does P.J. need to win?

KURTIS: Six to win, P.J.

SAGAL: All right, here we go, P.J., for the game. After years of talks, the U.S. and 11 other nations agreed to the blank on Monday.

O'ROURKE: Pacific trade whatsamajigger (ph), you know, pact.

SAGAL: We'll give it to you. The Trans-Pacific Partnership.(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, officials in the U.S. and Russia agreed to restart talks to avoid conflict over their shared presence in blank.

O'ROURKE: In Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The House Energy and Commerce Committee announced this week that it was launching a probe into FanDuel and DraftKings, two popular blank sites.

O'ROURKE: Oh, fantasy football.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An Italian man running late for his flight missed it, despite blanking to buy himself some more time.

O'ROURKE: Phoning in a bomb threat.

SAGAL: That's exactly what he did.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Thanks to evidence gathered during a flyby in January, NASA reported this week that blank has blue skies and mountains made of ice.

O'ROURKE: Mars.

SAGAL: No, Pluto. On Thursday, Svetlana Alexievich of Belarus won the blank prize for literature.

O'ROURKE: Nobel Prize.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a daring heist that could only happen in Portland, Ore., two thieves made off with a blank.

O'ROURKE: Tofu turkey.

SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you. An entire truck filled with tofu...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

O'ROURKE: OK.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...And organic juice. The thieves abandoned the truck three miles away, but not before clearing the entire cab of its contents. They would've hit a target further away but it was really important for them to steal local.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did P.J. do well enough to win? He did pretty well.

KURTIS: He pretty - did pretty well. He needed six to win. And guess what? He got six.

SAGAL: There you go. He's a winner.

KURTIS: He's the champ. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.