Limericks

Jun 13, 2020
Originally published on June 18, 2020 9:34 pm
Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Click the Contact Us link on our website - waitwait.npr.og.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

JOSH PROTAS: Hi, this is Josh Protas (ph) from Takoma Park, Md.

SAGAL: Oh, I know Takoma Park. It's a lovely town outside of D.C. in Maryland, right?

PROTAS: It is.

SAGAL: And what do you do there?

PROTAS: I coordinate public policy and advocacy work for MAZON: A Jewish Response To Hunger.

SAGAL: Right.

JOSH GONDELMAN: The Jewish response to hunger is, I could eat.

(LAUGHTER)

PROTAS: So eat already. Exactly.

SAGAL: Yeah, eat already (laughter). There, you did your job. (Laughter). Josh, well, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you're a winner. Here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: For old phones, I once lit (ph) a votary. But now they've come back in my coterie. Come check out my style as slowly I dial. The cell phone I got is a..

PROTAS: Rotary.

KURTIS: Yes, it is.

SAGAL: Yes, a rotary phone.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A technology company is offering a cell phone with a wheel, working, old-style rotary dial for people who are tired of all the features in their phones distracting them or being useful. It's a distraction-free device, which is true unless you are the kind of person who is distracted by strangers constantly asking you, what the hell is that thing?

GONDELMAN: My hands are going to be jacked from texting.

NEGIN FARSAD: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Your finger anyway.

JESSI KLEIN: Yeah, I don't want to waste any time fooling around on my phone, so I want to phone where it takes me nine hours to make one phone call.

SAGAL: Exactly.

FARSAD: (Laughter).

GONDELMAN: Legally, you can't even make a call from this phone, though. Like, it doesn't work unless you start with, you know, I don't even own a TV. Hello.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: A flamingo that raises a stink gets all the good food and good drink. It turns out a bully develops most fully. The flamingo that's mean is most...

PROTAS: Pink?

KURTIS: Pink.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Wow.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new study shows how you can tell which flamingos are the biggest jerks just by looking for which are the pinkest. So the next time you see the prettiest, pinkest flamingo at the zoo, just know everybody hates that guy. Flamingos - we knew this - get their pink color from a kind of red algae they eat. And the more aggressive they are, the more they eat, so the pinker they get. And you always thought they got pink from when they were medium rare.

GONDELMAN: You know, I met that flamingo. It's never been weird to me. So I don't what you guys are talking about.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Zoom workouts just might test my mettle well. I've not weights, though, as my lack of sweat'll tell. Store pickings are slim. Can I rent from my gym? There is no place to buy a new...

PROTAS: Kettle bell.

SAGAL: Yes, kettle bells.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Kettle bells, heavy balls with a handle made for swinging up and down and directly into your wall, are almost sold out in New York right now. According to a boutique gym owner in Brooklyn, quote, "people are kind of freaking out that their physiques will change without that equipment, whereas normal people are kind of freaking out about literally everything else."

GONDELMAN: Here's the thing. If you weren't working out before, your physique is going to stay the same.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

GONDELMAN: This is our time to shine, yeah.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Josh do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Very impressive, wasn't it? Josh got them all right.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

KURTIS: Good going.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Josh. Well done.

PROTAS: Thank you. Bye-bye.

GONDELMAN: I'm 35 years old, still don't know what to do when there's a second Josh.

FARSAD: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Really? You're like...

GONDELMAN: Oh, yeah. Every time you're like, Josh, how'd you do - and it's like, I didn't do anything?

SAGAL: (Laughter).

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SO WHAT")

PINK: (Singing) Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.