Panel Questions

May 30, 2020
Originally published on May 30, 2020 1:19 pm
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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host, lying on his floor and seeing if he can see shapes in the ceiling tiles, Peter Sagal.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thanks, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well, it's been a long, strange trip this week, just as we've virtually traveled across the country to do our show. Well, it's better than sitting at home. Where are you now, Bill?

KURTIS: I have strolled out into the menagerie, Peter. I find the sight of the big cats to be soothing.

SAGAL: Well, be careful, Bill. We've all seen "Tiger King." We know what can happen.

KURTIS: (Laughter) Never worry. They accept me as the apex predator.

SAGAL: One of our favorite places to bring our show is Wolf Trap, the outdoor performing arts center near Washington, D.C. When we went there in August of last year, I posed questions about that week's news to Negin Farsad, Peter Grosz and Faith Salie.

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SAGAL: Faith, the National Park Service has put out a notice telling hikers at Great Smoky Mountains National Park not to be alarmed by what that they might find coming at them on the trail?

FAITH SALIE: Oh, it is rolling dung.

SAGAL: Yes.

SALIE: That's - it appears to be animated scat.

SAGAL: Yes.

SALIE: And in fact...

SAGAL: Coming at them.

SALIE: Coming at them - and in fact, it is some kind of bug, some kind of insect, right?

SAGAL: Well, yes.

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SAGAL: So this is what happened. So yes.

PETER GROSZ: I love that that word-for-word was the answer.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Park rangers are telling visitors not to be alarmed by the rolling poop. They say that, no, the balls are not moving by themselves. Don't worry. They're getting pushed by giant dung beetles. According to park - according to the park service...

GROSZ: That's way scarier, by the way - giant dung beetles.

GROSZ: It is. According to the National Park Service, male dung beetles - or tumble bugs - make the dung balls in an effort to woo females.

SALIE: Because...

GROSZ: Remember - now, remember, guys, if you like it, then you'd better roll a ball of poop towards it.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Hikers are seeing this, and noticing it? Like, a dung beetle to me is, like...

SALIE: But the ball...

GROSZ: ...Much smaller than my...

SAGAL: No.

GROSZ: ...Thumb.

SAGAL: It's a big dung beetle and a much bigger - the ball is, like...

SALIE: It's, like, a baseball-sized thing.

SAGAL: Yeah, It's 10 times the size of the beetle.

GROSZ: Oh, well, that's impressive. What's his number?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: That's - I mean, that's, like, ridiculous. That is insane. That would be like me pushing, like, the boulder that almost killed Indiana Jones...

SAGAL: Exactly right.

GROSZ: ...Full of crap and being like, hey, ladies. Like, that's insane.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Peter, the Kinsey Institute has released the findings of a new study. They say people who do what tend to have more sex?

GROSZ: Lower their standards.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: I'll take a hint, please.

SAGAL: You'll take a hint. Well, you know, basically, you just start with the eggplant and, pretty soon, happy face.

SALIE: Oh.

GROSZ: People who text a lot have more sex?

SAGAL: People who text with...

GROSZ: ...Emojis have more sex.

GROSZ: Yes, emojis.

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SALIE: What?

GROSZ: According to the Kinsey Institute...

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: ...Those perverts...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...People who frequently use emojis in their texts have more sex and a better dating life than people who do not.

SALIE: This is so disturbing.

GROSZ: But that's not...

SALIE: My dad uses lots of emojis...

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: ...Like, all the time.

SAGAL: Well, your dad's a healthy human being...

SALIE: Yes.

SAGAL: ...Just like everybody else. But apparently, it's actually good because signaling your affection via emoji is more, I guess, communicative than using just words because that is where we are now.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Chivalry is dead, but the peach emoji - very much alive.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Whenever I text my husband the ovulation emoji, he races home.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What? What is the ovulation emoji?

GROSZ: It's an egg.

SALIE: It's a ball of dung.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: It's an egg and a slot (ph).

(SOUNDBITE OF DAFT PUNK FEAT. PHARRELL WILLIAMS SONG, "GET LUCKY") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.