Zodiac Buds

Jul 24, 2020

Comedians Greta Titelman (Los Espookys) and Benito Skinner (@bennydrama7 on Instagram) try to guess which celebrities have something in common... and share the same Zodiac sign!

Heard on HAIM & Benito Skinner: Delis And Star Charts

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Our next two comedian contestants are on the line. From the show "Los Espookys," it's Greta Titelman. And from all over social media, comedian Benito Skinner. Hello.



SKINNER: Do you hear that? Did you hear that? Stunning.

TITELMAN: (Singing) Hello.

SKINNER: (Singing) Hello.


SKINNER: Music and comedy - they can go together.


EISENBERG: You know, just thinking about, like, what people are putting out there in terms of comedy right now, as two comedians who do a lot of impressions and characters, got to say it's one thing that translates well.

SKINNER: The tricky thing is, like, finding any inspiration during this time that's not completely about this time.

TITELMAN: Yeah. I've needed to take a little sabbatical from Instagram myself because first of all, there are way more important things happening in our world currently.


TITELMAN: I have not found it in me yet. Like, I am not feeling very funny on that platform.

SKINNER: Oh, I've been digging into the old archives.

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

SKINNER: I'm, like, ripping through my notes of, like, what's an idea I came up with, like, four years ago?


SKINNER: Like, I feel like that has been nice to kind of, you know...

TITELMAN: Yeah, no, that is nice to go back.

SKINNER: Repurpose.

TITELMAN: To repurpose.

SKINNER: I'm like, wait. This was kind of funny, I guess. This has a few jokes.


TITELMAN: I don't...

SKINNER: Well, I got a text from my manager on Monday.

TITELMAN: Oh, my God. Brag, brag, brag.

SKINNER: I have to bring up my manager. You know I have to bring up my manager.

COULTON: (Laughter).

TITELMAN: Brag away. Bring up the manager.

SKINNER: And she was like, hey, just checking in on you. Like, you didn't really post anything all weekend. And I was, like, that - I probably should be embarrassed. Like, that...


TITELMAN: OK, but that is your platform.

COULTON: Wait a minute. You can't even take a weekend off?

SKINNER: It's totally. Yeah, no, I know, right? I was like, I - yes, I smoked weed and watched "Avatar" this weekend.


SKINNER: You caught me. Like, I didn't have anything to post.

EISENBERG: All right. We have a couple great games for you.


EISENBERG: You guys want to play some games? Want to play some games?


TITELMAN: Yes. We love games.

EISENBERG: So actually, before we just jump into it, Benito, I watched and very much enjoyed your astrology, the different signs of the zodiac...

SKINNER: Oh, thank you.

EISENBERG: ...And how they are reacting to quarantine. Greta, are you into astrology?

TITELMAN: Of course I'm into astrology, you know? I mean, I live in LA. I - my mom's dead. It's like, what are my options, you know?


EISENBERG: What sign are you, Benito?

SKINNER: I'm Scorpio.

EISENBERG: Interesting. Greta, what sign are you?

TITELMAN: I'm an Aries.

EISENBERG: OK. So this is going to work out great...


EISENBERG: ...Because this quiz is called Zodiac Buds. We're going to give you a list of three people.


EISENBERG: Your goal is to figure out which two of them have the same astrological sign.

TITELMAN: Oh, we're going to nail this. We're going to nail this.

SKINNER: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

TITELMAN: Wait. Jonathan, are you a Libra?

COULTON: I am not a Libra.

SKINNER: Taurus.

TITELMAN: You have to be a water sign.

COULTON: What makes me seem like a Libra? Is it the beard?

SKINNER: Are you Taurus?

TITELMAN: Are you Cancer?


TITELMAN: Are you Virgo? I'll freak.

COULTON: Not Virgo.

SKINNER: I would've broken the mic if he was Virgo.

TITELMAN: Oh, my God.


SKINNER: Would've slammed it, yeah.

TITELMAN: Wait. You can't be - are you a Sagittarius?

SKINNER: No, he's not.

COULTON: I am a Sagittarius.

SKINNER: OK, that is...

TITELMAN: Sag to me are sleeper signs, though.

SKINNER: They are. And Britney Spears...


SKINNER: ...Nicki Minaj...


SKINNER: ...Miley Cyrus.


COULTON: Great company.

EISENBERG: Oh, by the way, the definitive authority we're using on the topic of astrology is Allure magazine.

SKINNER: Yeah. So science.

TITELMAN: Well, they are - it is kind of Webster's Dictionary.

SKINNER: That's science.


SKINNER: That's science.

EISENBERG: Right? And as an extra hint if you need one, we'll tell you one other thing the correct people have in common.



EISENBERG: OK. Which two of these actors are Libras, who strive to create equilibrium and balance, as you know, and have never won an Oscar? Viggo Mortensen, Denzel Washington, Sigourney Weaver.

TITELMAN: I already know.

EISENBERG: OK. Go for it, Gretta.

TITELMAN: I believe it's Sigourney and Denzel.

EISENBERG: Interesting.

SKINNER: Denzel has an Oscar.

TITELMAN: Denzel has an Oscar? I thought Viggo has an Oscar.

SKINNER: What did Viggo win...

TITELMAN: Didn't he win an Oscar for "A History of Violence"?

SKINNER: Oh, he might've. Does Denzel - no, Denzel has an Oscar.

TITELMAN: I don't think Denzel has an Oscar.

SKINNER: Denzel has an Oscar.

TITELMAN: Or maybe Denzel has an Oscar for "Training Day."


TITELMAN: So then it's Viggo and Sigourney.

EISENBERG: That's correct. Both Libras, have never won an Oscar. Denzel won for the movies "Training Day" and "Glory."


EISENBERG: OK. Let's try this one. Which two of these people are vivacious, theatrical and passionate Leos and have won the Nobel Prize? The man who discovered penicillin, Sir Alexander Fleming, Bill Gates, Barack Obama.


SKINNER: I know because Barack's not a Leo.


SKINNER: So the other two.

TITELMAN: And I know because Barack hasn't won a Nobel Prize.


EISENBERG: Actually...


TITELMAN: Sorry. Has he?

SKINNER: Is Barack a Leo?

TITELMAN: Has Barack won a Nobel Prize?

SKINNER: And he's a Leo?

EISENBERG: Yes and yes.

SKINNER: Why, I oughta...

TITELMAN: Wait. Hold on. Barack Obama...

SKINNER: Is a Leo.

TITELMAN: ...Is a Leo.

EISENBERG: Is a Leo, yeah.

TITELMAN: That's hot.

EISENBERG: And, Benito, Bill Gates is a Scorpio.

TITELMAN: And you know what?

SKINNER: You wouldn't.

TITELMAN: Bill Gates does have scorpion vibes.

SKINNER: You wouldn't.

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

COULTON: Yeah, totally makes sense.

SKINNER: OK, wait. Give us another one. We can't end on that. I'm stressed.

EISENBERG: No, no. OK. Which of these two artists are empathetic and compassionate Pisces and reached No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100?

TITELMAN: Well, we know the Hot 100.

SKINNER: I know - if it's Pisces and it's Hot 100...

TITELMAN: Yeah, it's happening.

SKINNER: ...Baby, one of these is going to be Rihanna.


EISENBERG: Rihanna...


EISENBERG: ...Missy Elliott, Carrie Underwood.

SKINNER: OK, well, Rihanna is a Pisces, number one. OK. But...

TITELMAN: OK. We're going with Rihanna 100%. And I also think it's Carrie.

SKINNER: Yeah, Missy Misdemeanor is not - wait. But Missy Misdemeanor feels a little Pisces to me.

TITELMAN: She does feel Pisces, but she also feels, like, Leo to me.

SKINNER: Carrie Underwood feels, like, Sagittarius, and she's like, oh, I'm just...

TITELMAN: (Singing) I dug my key into the side - but you know it's that song that they're talking about.

SKINNER: That's a - yeah, but that's a Scorpio moment.

TITELMAN: That is because that's divisive and psychotic.

SKINNER: And psychotic.

TITELMAN: Yeah. I'm going to go with Ri and Carrie. We're going to be split.

SKINNER: Are you really? Wait, I'm so stressed by that. No, can we talk for a bit?

TITELMAN: Why do you think it's Missy?

SKINNER: I just - for some crazy, little reason, I just feel like Carrie would never get me the right answer.

TITELMAN: OK, so our final answer is Missy and Ri.


EISENBERG: OK, well, you know you're wrong.

SKINNER: Yeah, it's Carrie.

EISENBERG: First of all, Missy Elliott has never had a No. 1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100.

SKINNER: Well, that is called racism.

EISENBERG: She's reached No. 2, but never No. 1. If you - if anyone takes anything away from this, just that.

SKINNER: That's disgusting.

TITELMAN: That's insane. That's really insane.

SKINNER: That actually ruined my morning.

COULTON: That feels long overdue for sure.

TITELMAN: Yeah, I was going to say my week is toast.

EISENBERG: And then, she's a Cancer.

SKINNER: Oh, she's a Cancer.

TITELMAN: You just want - I want to be around Missy.

SKINNER: Same...

TITELMAN: She feels safe to me, you know?

SKINNER: ...Which I should have known because I'm a Scorpio. So of course Missy Misdemeanor is a Cancer.


EISENBERG: Yeah. See; just like real horoscopes, everything makes sense in hindsight.

COULTON: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: You both did amazing, and you brought so much more knowledge to this game than we could have ever expected.

SKINNER: That's what we wanted to do.

TITELMAN: Thank you. That's what we do.

SKINNER: That was our ultimate goal. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.