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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to the final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Maz has four. Roxanne and Brian each have two.

SAGAL: Well, we flipped a coin. Roxanne has elected to go first. So, Roxanne, fill in the blank. This week, President Obama announced he would appeal a ruling blocking his executive action on blank.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Immigration?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Catalan lawmakers approved a plan to separate from blank by 2017.

ROBERTS: From Spain.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the American Postal Workers Union announced it was endorsing blank for president.

ROBERTS: Bernie Sanders.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In their first free election since 1990, citizens of blank overwhelmingly supported the opposition party.

ROBERTS: Burma.

SAGAL: Right, or Myanmar.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a tense standoff, an alleged shoplifter in Phoenix agreed to turn herself over to police in exchange for blank.

ROBERTS: Shoplifter, huh?

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROBERTS: Phoenix? Tacos.

SAGAL: No, three jelly doughnuts. On Tuesday, New York's attorney general declared that websites that allow betting on blank constitute illegal gambling.

ROBERTS: Fantasy football.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, producer, songwriter and New Orleans legend blank passed away at the age of 77.

ROBERTS: Allen Toussaint.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A British man was given a three-month prison sentence this week for hiding a blank behind a stack of hay bales.

ROBERTS: I'm going to say jelly doughnuts.

SAGAL: No, a giant, four-bedroom turreted castle.

ROBERTS: What?

SAGAL: Robert Fidler - or, as he prefers to be called, The Good King Robert, ruler of all Fidleria - built his giant castle without obtaining the proper permits back in 2000. So for 15 years, he kept it hidden behind these giant walls of stacked hay bales. What's behind the hay bales, Robert? Nothing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But this week, a judge ordered Robert to either demolish the castle or spend three months in jail for contempt of court. He refused to demolish it. Police say they'll be carting him off to prison just as soon as they figure out how to get across the moat.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Roxanne got six right for 12 more points. She has a total of 14 and the lead.

SAGAL: OK.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Brian, you're up next. Fill in the blank. This week, the Senate overwhelmingly passed a $612 billion blank bill.

BRIAN BABYLON: Defense.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Tens of thousands of fast food workers walked out of the jobs on Tuesday, demanding a higher blank.

BABYLON: Wage.

SAGAL: Well, yeah, higher minimum wage.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Kurdish forces launched a U.S.-backed offensive to retake the town of Sinjar from blank.

BABYLON: ISIS.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new report from the World Bank, the effects of blank could push 100 million people into poverty by 2030.

BABYLON: Global warming.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the John Mackey Award for best tight end was awarded to blank.

BABYLON: Robert Gronkowski.

SAGAL: No, Jake Butt. This week, despite scathing reviews, Donald Trump's hosting gig on blank earned the show is highest ratings since 2012.

BABYLON: "SNL."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Bernie Sanders supporters learned that in addition to bumper stickers, they could also show their love for the Vermont senator by buying blank.

BABYLON: Buying Bernie babies. It's like...

SAGAL: No.

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Buying Bernie Sanders branded underpants.

BABYLON: That's what a Bernie baby is. It's like...

SAGAL: Oh, please. Don't even try.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Man.

SAGAL: Now, even though it is the last place you would ever want to feel the Bern (ph), a company in Vermont is now selling Bernie Briefs. If you're wondering what they look like, they're tighty-extremely-whiteys (ph). And they've got Bernie's face screen-printed on them right over the parts that you used to use for sex.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Brian do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Brian got five right, 10 more points. He has a total of 12, but Roxanne still has the lead.

SAGAL: All right. How, then, can Maz beat the odds and beat Roxanne? How many does he need?

KURTIS: Five to tie and six to win.

SAGAL: All right, here we go, Maz. This is for the game. This week, for the first time since the Iran nuclear deal, President Obama met with blank.

MAZ JOBRANI: Bibi Netanyahu.

SAGAL: Yes, Bibi Netanyahu, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following weeks of student protest, the president and chancellor of the University of blank resigned on Monday.

JOBRANI: Mizzou.

SAGAL: Right, Missouri.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Citing environmental concerns, President Obama rejected the blank last Friday.

JOBRANI: The - I don't know.

SAGAL: The Keystone pipeline.

JOBRANI: Oh.

SAGAL: This week, Sea World San Diego announced it was putting an end to its famous blank shows.

JOBRANI: Whale shows.

SAGAL: Right, orca shows.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Scottish councilman who forced several public bathrooms to close after cutting their funding was fined this week for blanking.

JOBRANI: Peeing.

SAGAL: Right, in public.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom announced that, despite recent trends, they would not be open on blank.

JOBRANI: Christmas.

SAGAL: No, Thanksgiving.

JOBRANI: Oh.

SAGAL: This week, Triple Crown award-winning horse American Pharaoh gained yet another accolade when he was named one of America's 50 most influential blanks.

JOBRANI: Influencers - people.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: American Pharaoh was named one of America's 50 most influential Jews.

JOBRANI: What?

ROBERTS: What?

SAGAL: Now, you're probably wondering, how do they know that American Pharaoh, who is a horse, is really Jewish? Well, let's just say that the mohel who performed his bris lost a few teeth but also walked away with a beautiful new leather handbag. Also, the horse's owner - orthodox Jew, donates big money to Jewish causes - threw American Pharaoh a bar mitzvah when he turned 13. It was a great party. The only issue was when they had to use a crane to life him up in the chair during the horah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Maz do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he got four right, eight more points, got a total of 12 to tie Brian, but Roxanne is the champion.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done.

JOBRANI: Out of nowhere.

BABYLON: Roxanne, Roxanne.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.