When I was a brash little kid who thought he somehow ruled the universe, my Grandma Wilkinson could put me in my place with one dirty look and a stern warning:
You’re getting too big for your britches, boy. Stop it now.
I’m wondering what Grandma would have made of Buc-ee's, the largest and most successful highway convenience store in the country, using its clout to bully a tiny store in Beavercreek, Ohio, out of existence because they have the audacity to call themselves “Beaver’s Mini-Mart,” accompanied by a cute little beaver image.
I don’t think Grandma would be pleased.
Beavercreek — first settled in the late 1700s — is a place where a lot of enterprises have cute little beavers attached to their names.
Buc-ee’s is the Bigfoot in the highway travel center, operating more than 50 massive stores in multiple states, most of them in Texas, the home base of the company.
The company didn’t seem to have much interest in Beaver’s Mini Mart or anything else in Ohio until they announced plans to open a mega-store off I-70 in Huber Heights, Ohio.
Beaver’s Mini-Mart is about 13 miles southeast of Huber Heights.
It’s in Greene County, just a few miles east of Dayton, making it the second largest suburb of Dayton, after Kettering.
No backwater joints in Beavercreek.
Let’s face it — the people who run Buc-ees are one litigious bunch. The moss never grows on their legal team.
Buc-ee’s is the same company that, early this year, sued a northwest Ohio convenience store chain claiming its Mickey the Moose cartoon logo too closely resembled the drawing style of their beaver mascot.
A moose!
A raft of state legislators, along with Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine — himself from Greene County, where Beavercreek is located — have weighed in on the silliness of the situation.
DeWine, at a media scrum, said Buc-ee’s may be “bursting its bubble” with the public with its legal campaign.
Buc-ee’s “shouldn’t be surprised that companies and stores and retail outlets have the word 'beaver' in their names.”
“If you look at the cartoon figures, they’re not even close,” DeWine said. “You can distinguish between the two beavers.”
We couldn’t reach anyone in Buc-ee’s corporate headquarters in Lake Jackson, Texas, for comment.
But what we do know is this: This has been the best thing for Beaver Mini-Mart’s bottom line.
Throngs of people have been showing up at the Beavercreek store to spend at least $20 each to help the business.
In Cincinnati, Sitwell’s Act II coffeehouse in Clifton, has been sending a portion of their proceeds to the mini-mart’s legal defense fund. Many other businesses around Ohio are doing the same.
A word of free advice to Buc-ee’s: Don’t let lawyers screw up a good thing.
We love you. I love you.
You do, indeed, have the cleanest and most spacious public restrooms on Earth. Clean as a whistle.
You do have the most delicious brisket around. As a Texas company, well you should.
Your Beaver Nuggets, puffed caramel corn, have been my constant companion on many a long road trip.
Don’t waste that goodwill fighting over a cartoon beaver. Just don’t.
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