Lightning Fill In The Blank

Oct 24, 2015
Originally published on October 24, 2015 11:45 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Adam and Maz each have two. Faith has three.

SAGAL: OK, so Adam and Maz are then tied. Well, we flipped a coin. Maz has elected to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, WikiLeaks released a collection of documents from the hacked email of the director of the blank.

MAZ JOBRANI: CIA.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, President Obama vetoed the $612 billion blank bill.

JOBRANI: Defense.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new poll, Ben Carson has now overtaken blank in Iowa.

JOBRANI: Trump.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Georgia, armed with heavy weapons and drug sniffing dogs, successfully raided a farm and seized all the blank.

JOBRANI: Marijuana?

SAGAL: Well, they thought it was marijuana. It was really okra. This week...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Ticketing websites crashed as thousands of people tried to reserve seats for the first showing of the new blank movie.

JOBRANI: "Star Wars."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: We're not saying there's a connection, but every game of the National League Championship Series that Chicago Mayor Rahm Emmanuel attended, the blank lost.

JOBRANI: Cubs.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A pair of jewel thieves who stole from a local art gallery were easily apprehended because they blanked.

JOBRANI: They fell asleep.

SAGAL: No, they left their name and number in the gallery's guestbook.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: That's courteous of them.

SAGAL: You know, nice stores have the guestbook, sign your name, you know. The two thieves left their name and number in the gallery's guestbook along with an email address that read - and this is true - wedidnttakeit@gmail.com. After they were confronted by police, the pair confessed to the crime and admitted that their real email address was okyougotusweactuallydidtakeit@gmail.com. Bill, how did Maz do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Maz got five right for 10 more points. He has total of 12 and he's in the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Adam, you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Freedom Caucus announced it would support blank's bid for speaker of the House.

ADAM FELBER: Paul Ryan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After the Democratic debate last week, polls showed blank's numbers increased 10 points.

FELBER: Hillary Clinton.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, John Kerry met with the prime minister of blank to discuss rising violence in the region.

FELBER: Israel.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, officials in Ohio announced the state was suspending all blanks until 2017.

FELBER: Executions.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In order to remind himself to keep moving forward and never look back, Chicago Bulls star Jimmy Butler reportedly blanked.

FELBER: Had blinders put on.

SAGAL: No, he removed the rearview mirror on his car.

FELBER: Smart.

SAGAL: This week, the FAA announced it was planning to require mandatory registration for recreational blanks.

FELBER: Drones.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man and a woman in a standoff with Florida police told the cops they would only come out after blank.

FELBER: Having sex one more time.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The couple, who had been charged with armed robbery, barricaded themselves inside a house which was soon surrounded by the police. Negotiations between the officers and robbers lasted for hours before the woman told the cops that she would come out if she and the guy could have sex one more time. Police report that the standoff ended peacefully and embarrassingly 30 seconds later.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Then he wanted something to eat. Bill, how did Adam do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got six right, 12 more points. He now has a total of 14 and he has the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, all right. So how much does that smarty-pants Faith need to win?

KURTIS: She needs six to win.

SAGAL: Here you are. Six to win. Here we go, Faith, it's up to you. This is for the game. New Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced this week that he was withdrawing Canadian jets from the war on blank.

FAITH SALIE: The war on ISIS?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Democratic presidential hopeful blank suspended his campaign.

SALIE: Jim Webb.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Researchers at NASA reported this week that there's a 99.9 percent chance that LA will be struck by a blank within the next three years.

SALIE: Earthquake.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Swedish hazmat team investigating barrels of suspected toxic waste determined that the offending substance was blank.

SALIE: Swedish meatball sauce.

SAGAL: No, 2,000 pounds of discarded sauerkraut. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, 2015 is set to be the blankest year ever.

SALIE: Hottest.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week it was announced that Chris Rock would return as host of the 2016 blanks.

SALIE: Oscars.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Missouri tried to put out a fire by driving his van over it, but failed because blank.

SALIE: Because his van was leaking oil.

SAGAL: Close. His van was filled with live ammunition. So he'd been burning garbage in a field near his house when the blaze got out of control.

FELBER: Oh no, there's a fire.

SAGAL: Oh no, what do I do? I know, I will drive over it in my van and crunch the fire under my tires, forgetting that the van was filled with hundreds of rounds of live ammo. Though no one was injured, and police will not be pressing charges, saying that a flaming van stuffed with live ammunition was exactly what the founding fathers were thinking of when they created the 2nd Amendment. Bill, did Faith do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She got five right, 10 more points, total of 13. But she could not catch Adam. Adam is this week's champion.

SAGAL: This is true. Adam is the victor.

FELBER: Thank you very much. Where's my cheese? Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.